commitment. day 10.

i was in a meeting yesterday and someone asked me why i was doing 'this'. (this referring to the triathlon, being that- i'm just learning how to swim and i just learned how to spell the word triathlon - further more "the best life" in these first 10days has been about be keeping my head above water)
anyway, i was a bit stumped. then i remembered one of the most amazing stories i had ever seen.
this story planted the seed.
my inspiration. please check out the link.
its only 10 days in and i realize- a year is short. only 355 days left. watch as the numbers melt away. its no cliche, life is short. and yet, you can transform your life in a year - through commitment. i promise you i did NOT feel like swimming today. its cold and wet in toronto. then i remembered my commitment. and i thought. hmmm. we have a choice - your life can be an inspiration or not. say "inspiration" in this day and age we usually think of those 'other people' who make speeches or lead marches. but what about our day to day lives? through our personal choices we can all be a light in this world. dick hoyt (the father in the clip) did it for his son and he has inspired millions. for me it was going to the lesson & i did 2 laps! (very big deal for me)

what is your reason why? to stretch yourself? to keep your commitments?
again, what would this world look like if we all did our best? i want to know.
for starters what will this world look like when i do my best...?


love you ngozi

day 9. what's your best?

what is your best?
did you do your best today?
i heard it said that true nobility is not being better than someone else its being better than your previous self.
how did you do today?

day 8. let it be.

a gentle breeze of melancholy swept in with the rain today.
i leave toronto in 7 days. i'm happy about that. but not so happy about the the pile of to do's that seems to be adding up. + yesterday driving around the city there were so many things to love. a marathon. a chinese festival at queen's park. lovely. i woke up to jog this morning but i was rained in. what to do in case of rain? i slept. i worked. i swam. i worked. i met with a beautiful wide-eye girl who asked me for direction. i said follow your heart...then i told her how to get a good agent. ?not sure how i felt about that.? i went to see the informant with a great friend of mine. a great movie. but strangely disturbing. maybe that's why i feel...off.

i love the beatles. really i love the beatles.
a perfect song for right now.


let it be.

tomorrow:

7am jog
8am breakfast
9am meeting at home. then
10am meeting
1pm meeting
3 office
430pm meeting
730 spynga

...i promise to eat in there somewhere.
today was not so great i ate to BOXES of nut thins and a veggie burger.
ya. gotta do better than that.

SISTERHOOD. day 6 and 7 and 359 to go...

well yesterday i took 'the day off' from blogging. i actually missed it.
but i spent the day getting myself organized. no wait, i did that today. yesterday (saturday) i stayed in bed for most of the day. i went to spynga then came home and slept. it's amazing how much time you have on your hands when you eliminate bad habits from your life. seriously. think about it.

but today, i woke up went to a work out class with tova. went grocery shopping. cleaned my room. did laundry. and participated in THE CANADIAN BLACK FILM FESTIVAL where my short film titled 'the first time' was screened before, Embracing 'da Kink.
I watched that documentary for the first time again today.

wow. da Kink in my Hair. from 2002 to 2009 wow. what a journey. i rarely think about what we've done or even talk about it. i still feel as though i am moving forward and there is so much more to come. that constant focus leaves little time to reflect. but today, watching it reminded me of what i believe.

i DO believe in sisterhood & friendship and what we can accomplish when we support one another. and really my philosophy is to give, give give, what you want to receive. and its true over the course of time i have been disappointed at times but what i know for sure is when you give of yourself- the joy of giving can never be taken away from you. giving without expectations. and disappointment is a function of our expectations...
so give freely.


in my short film 'the first time' i talk to two very unlikely subjects about their first sexual encounter...i was asked to do more with that. i will. because, talking - really talking to each other is so healing. telling each other the truth about our experiences sharing with each other.

i sat on a panel afterward and someone asked us if we were healed. i was stumped as to how to answer that question. i feel healthy you see. but i know the journey continues. and the life journey is always about getting better. not getting better than someone else. but get better than your former self. so that's today. and tomorrow...

monday:
7am wake up
715 - 8am jog
8-830 shower and dress
830-9am breakfast
930 - 2pm arrive in office - work
11am snack/1pm lunch
2pm leave for swimming
3pm swimming lesson
430-530pm work from home
530pm mentor meeting

here's to a five star week
looking fwd to monday morning
ngozi

361-life as a swimming lesson

in swim class today my instructor- who speaks to me like i'm a 5 year old (imagine marry poppins as an 18 year old guy) which i don't mind at all, he's very sweet, shared two pieces of insight with me. the first was this,"so you say you want to do a triathlon - you don't have to do it any specific way you can do the doggie paddle..." i laughed out loud. but then i thought hey he's right. its not always about style its about getting the job done. the second golden nugget was then he explained why breathing is so important. he explained, if you don't breathe under water (breathe out) you get tried because your keeping the carbon dioxide in your lungs and that's what you don't need. so it makes you tired.
do you see the genius there? take in what you need. let go of what you don't. breathe out. hanging on to what you don't need just weighs you down.

i just saw secrets of a black boy. congratulations to everyone involved in the show. check out the link and check out the show it great seeing 7 black men on stage expressing themselves.

saturday is my day off so i won't be blogging tomorrow.
i will however be creating a schedule for myself. lots to do before i head back to la.
and if i want to start eating anything other than starbucks oatmeal i need a plan.

shine on. letting go of everything that doesn't serve you.
gozi

362 days to go. turbulence. mid-stream

today was one of those days.
i stayed up working until 3am preparing materials for a meeting today with a network...i was very excited. i had so much on my mind i didn't fall asleep until 4am or so. i woke up just before 8am. i went into the office for about 1030am ready to dig into a great day of work as my meeting was scheduled for 245pm. i met with our new intern and ran through the list of our to-do's sometime around 1130am i slipped way to use the lady's room. mid-stream i get a knock on the door 'ngozi it's the phone.' in my mind i'm like...what the heck? can i not pee in peace? - i respond 'i'm busy can you take a message?', reply 'its the network your meeting is scheduled or 11am and everyone is waiting for you..." what the @#ck? huh?
there are many things worse than being interrupted while using the bathroom but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. and being interrupted mind stream to be informed that somewhere there is a room full of execs waiting on you for a meeting that you think is 3 hours later. really not good. any who...
turns out the meeting was entered into my schedule incorrectly. i did not book the meeting. i just went by what was in my computer. what was in my computer was wrong (which was proven to me when i got the confirmation email for 11am fwd to me directly).
the day went down hill from there. my documents didn't print out correctly. my computer kept freezing. etc. etc.
find a silver lining? well with energy spinning around the way it was today i can only imagine that today meeting was better served being scheduled for next week. i was an honest mistake and i was completely out of my hands.
now- to anyone who is reading this still here is the great thing about this commitment.
because of the commitment i made - rather than sinking into ice cream when things went wrong today i was able to lean on the commitment to get me through the emotions of the day.

there are going to be bumps and hurdles. but the true measure is how we deal with the challenges that we face. i know we've all heard it before. but- question is how many of us remember those cliches when we need them? today was a great day. because even though it was full- and i mean full of frustrations...many i didn't bore you with-

i stood my ground. stayed committed. didn't freak on anyone about my disappointment and i feel fine. i sent cards and sincere apologies to everyone...i was mortified. but we took care of it and i shared a laugh with the network about the whole thing. somehow i think that meeting will be even better next week. so, there was so turbulence but i am still in flight.

thank you so much for listening.
lovingly
ngozi

severe showers and a chance of drowning.

day 363. okay. i took a swimming lesson today. if you click on the link you'll be able to identify their target market. (i don't think i'm who they have in mind). some of you may know already that i just learned how to swim last summer. or rather i thought i learned to swim last year. i haven't practiced. i can't really swim. yup. i'm doing a triathlon next year where i expect myself to swim a half mile in ocean water.
the swimming lesson was today at 3pm and apparently the only people who can take swimming lessons at that time of day are people like myself and toddlers. the toddlers watched me taking my private lesson and they looked just as confused as me.
however, in light of my blog yesterday i decided to push myself and i swam two laps without stopping. i did swallow some water and choked...just a little bit. that's when it occurred to me - i may actually drown in the pacific ocean next year. but hey, not a bad way to go. shall we talk for a minute about the hair issues that come with black girl trying to learn how to swim. its a good thing my hair is in braids but even still i will have to either shave my head or double my annual hair budget. they just don't make swim caps big enough!! after swimming i felt very great. i think its proven: when you do what is good for you...push yourself to go just a bit further. you feel better afterward. i feel in many ways as though i'm starting at the very beginning. which is fantastic.
i also worked for hours...i'm still working on a pitch that i'm giving to a network tomorrow. more on that after the meeting. and i spent several hours in a meeting working out the project that i will be producing in africa. again, more on that very soon. details to come-
we got another 362 days..
lovingly
ngozi